Finding peace and moving on from whatever keeps us from growing is an important aspect of living life the way it should be. Whether we’re trying to come to terms with mistakes we’ve made in the past or with mistakes others have done to us, it’s no easy feat.
However, we shouldn’t think of this as a problem because everyone makes mistakes. Philosophers and Theologists alike even go as far as to say that it’s what makes us humans.
Although there aren’t any concrete and assured solutions when it comes to forgiving oneself, there are several thoughts and steps we can take. This video will talk about several thought processes and actions we can take to start forgiving ourselves.
1. Acknowledge our Mistakes
Acknowledging our mistakes is the first step to forgiving ourselves. If we remain in denial of our fault, we won’t be able to let go of whatever is holding us back. Acknowledging our mistakes out loud is also another great action we can take. According to Jordan Pickel, a trauma and relationship therapist in Vancouver, Canada, it helps imprint in our minds what we’ve learned from our actions and consequences.
2. Take Them As Lessons
With us making mistakes all the time, embracing the right mindset is important. Instead of us thinking of our mistakes as hindrances, think of them as ways we can grow as people. Reminding ourselves that we did the best in whatever we did and used all the tools and knowledge helps us forgive ourselves and move forward.
3. Allow Yourself to Take A Break
Acknowledging, self-reflecting, and processing our mistakes is important, but it’s okay to take it slow. We don’t have to rush into things when we aren’t ready yet. Similar to this is when people say we shouldn’t make decisions when we’re mad, we also shouldn’t make decisions when we are sad.
Take time for yourself and set it aside. Visualize your thoughts and feelings concerning your mistakes and put them inside a jar. You should keep this jar hidden and safe until you are ready to open it and you’re prepared to face your mistakes. However, you shouldn’t use this as an excuse either to run away from your mistakes.
4. Meditate
Training ourselves through meditation helps us gain the ability to remain present in our everyday lives. We are more grounded in life, and we can use our better control of emotions done through meditation as a doorway to forgiveness. This includes both ourselves and others.
5. Learn to Forgive Others
Forgiving others is also important in order for us to forgive ourselves. When we refuse to forgive others for mistakes they’ve made to us, we end up holding ourselves in higher regard. When we do this, we set higher standards, and we are more likely to be unable to forgive ourselves because we expect the best.
6. Learn to Love
When you love someone, it’s easier to forgive them. When we have trusting and loving relationships with our friends and loved ones, we’re more likely to see them as more than their mistakes. This applies to ourselves.
Most people don’t have the same love for themselves that they do for others. Many of us deprive ourselves of leniency, and we end up being more critical of ourselves. Learn to love. Learn to take it easy. Learn to love ourselves.
7. Be Patient
Last but definitely not least, we have to acknowledge the hardest part. When we feel guilty or embarrassed, we want things to be back to normal immediately. However, this isn’t the case most of the time. We can’t rush our feelings, and we certainly can’t rush other people’s feelings too.
It’s okay that we feel guilty and bad. These are all valid emotions that make us human. Instead, we should learn to embrace the guilt and the embarrassment. Sometimes even accepting that there’s nothing we can do except wait can help us forgive ourselves.
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